Monday, January 3, 2011

Grieving Process

My final pic with Erin taken on 16 Aug 2010, several hours later she would depart this world forever. RIP Erin!!

People assume they know how much I miss Erin and ache for her companionship. They truly believe that I should be over displaying grief and because they overcame the loss of a loved one in a relatively short time frame, I should be following suit. If that's you, congratulations on being able to bury your sorrow and head in the sand while you pretend everything is okay with the world. That is definitely not the way I approach life and it's certainly not how I'll survive the departure of Erin from my life. There is a clear cut goal of where I want to be in the post Erin era but it will occur at my own pace and using the most effective avenues for me.

By now I've read enough books and web site articles on the grieving process while speaking to many who have loss a loved one, canine or human and one thing is clear....Everyone has a different path and schedule for healing!!! I've encountered people who have mourned greatly for years on end for their animals while some folks get another animal in the household before the deceased is buried in the ground. Who's to say what is the right or wrong way to mend a broken heart. Personally, I feel there are varying circumstances in every death that makes the healing process impossible to apply to every mourning party.

Most grievers have multiple pets, children, spouses, etc to soften the blow of losing a loved one to death and the passing isn't as tragic meanwhile I personally chose to invest almost every moment of everyday for nearly 12 years with Erin and solely with her. Right or wrong, I opted to make her the center of my universe and fit in the other pieces of my life around our schedule. Many keep everything inside and shut down their emotions while displaying a stoic side to the world. Meanwhile they go home and bawl all night while their friends and family are duped into believing all is right in their life. Myself, on the other hand, I'm a firm believer in wearing my heart on my sleeve in regards to Erin and have no qualms about discussing Erin and her impact upon my life and the love she spread to so many who crossed her path.

The words, spoken and written, are therapeutic in nature and has probably been the most effective means of healing inside.The more people I can reach and shed some light upon Erin's life the greater opportunity for her legacy and life story to continue for the foreseeable future. Understandably, many see her as just a dog who is easily replaceable but my true friends who spent time in Erin's presence know there will never be another friend who will impact me in that manner. After you have devoted every moment to one living creature for over a decade and made most life decisions with that soul in mind, it's impossible to not feel incredible sorrow, grief, anger, guilt and a million other emotions.

My heart has healed greatly since that horrendous August day and I've traveled many miles down the road to where I ultimately will be but please don't rush me or try to impose your methods upon me as I'm surviving this ordeal on my terms. Erin undoubtedly would want me happy and those glorious days are coming again but til then I'll continue to shed an occasion tear and say a prayer for her. Thank you to my friends for their continued support and love!!

1 comment:

  1. Very BEAUTIFUL & brought tears to my eyes !! I'm glad you & Erin had a chance to find that kind of love!! Some people will never get a chance to have to find love like that & that is very sad!! I applaud you for your strength my friend, for you truly are stronger than you realize!! Keep your chin up & remember you have lots of friends who care about you & are rooting for you!!!
    Take care & God Bless you!! Teri


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