Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Of Sentimental Value

It's difficult to let go of connections to the life I once shared with Erin! Since her death I've found it extremely hard to part ways with any object associated with her; thoughts of discarding these items fills me with dread, angst, and sadness. This subject has arisen as I prepare to part ways with a hand-me-down creaky old bed that has occupied a corner of my bedroom for nine years, it's not just a bed but a place where my beloved friend laid her head for nearly a decade thus this weekend will be bittersweet as a new bed is delivered. The old relic was the site of many bouts of wrestling and roughhousing, a favorite hide and seeks location, and lastly a place where seemingly I held her in my arms a million times while expressing my love. I hold fond memories of returning from work and telling Erin "pillow and cover" thus she bolted for the bed for a proper welcome home greeting and a round of energetic tomfoolery as only two best friends can do.

A distinct feature of this bed is there is no frame as only a mattress and box spring lay upon the floor and this was done solely for the benefit of Erin; she was diagnosed with a bulging disc several years ago so I took immediate steps to prevent it from getting worse and possibly requiring surgery. Never did I think twice about not having a bed of normal height as the low profile eliminated the need for her to leap up and whatever sacrifice I made in terms of inconvenience was well worth it to ensure Erin's health and well-being. After a romp with fur friends at the dog park or stalking squirrels in the brutal Georgia heat, a nap was often needed so comfort of the bed was sought out; deep sleep came fast on such days and was much welcomed. A slice of heaven was found as I laid next to my sleeping angel where her beautiful spirit came shining through; gazing upon Erin's blissful angelic face transported me to a special place indeed.

Often as she slept I remained ever attentive as if my presence could keep the world and its many dangers at bay; eventually she would sense me hovering nearby and a broad smile would creep across her face. As if returning the favor there would be times when I awoke in the wee hours of the morning to find Erin's snout inches away from my face; she possessed a look that said "I'm watching over you and protecting you." The bed is worthless in monetary terms but priceless as it represents the life of an extraordinary creature, her incredible journey and the love and friendship we shared. My mother said a new bed will do me wonders physically and that I've sacrificed long enough so Saturday evening when I retire it will be in a brand new bed with an intact frame complete with headboard...hoping my body can handle sleeping above one foot :)


  1. I found you on the blog farm. Thank you for sharing your stories. I recently got a dog, after nearly 16 years of not having one. Please check out my blog at You will find a few writings about my childhood dog, and the journey to be able to parent another one.
    I also have a cooking blog, at
    Is Erin a beagle mix? She is very pretty.

  2. the first picture of Erin is lovely. she is cuddling in your arms, i guess, craving for love, just like a baby, so innocent, so cute. she is an attachment, a bind without strings. whenever i read about her, it seems she is still with her aura near you, everywhere.

  3. I look forward to your new posts like a child looks forward to Christmas morning. Each article about Erin is like a gift and unwrapping it and discovering it gladdens my heart. thank you for sharing her with us. Erin is in your heart so the bed's going won't make any difference to her memories and the love that you shared.

  4. @Ivy Thanks for stopping by, so glad you found your way here!! Erin is a Springer Spaniel. Thanks!

    @Sancheeta I try to keep her close through my words. Thanks for the nice comment, I love reading your nice words!!

    @Sulekkha I appreciate and treasure your comments and friendship!! Erin is certainly in my heart and there she will always remain :)

  5. As I always say reading about erin brings a smile on my face :
    As I am still smiling..

    I just love to keep coming bck here !!
    Keep writing.

    Love to erin and to u !!!!


  6. Loving the stories of Erin. I've loved (and lost) several springer spaniels as well - currently have two welsh springer boys, one in training to be a therapy dog. I know Erin touched many lives as a therapy dog, and now she continues to touch others through the blog. It is so hard to let go of any objects they are connected with, especially toys and beds, but I believe Erin would want you to sleep comfortably. My springers always go for the most comfy place they can find! A favorite quote that comes to mind is "Dogs lives are so short; their only fault, really." But they live on in our hearts.
    Laurel, celebrating the love of dogs at
    Bark Wag Love

  7. @Jyoti Thanks for coming by and reading about Erin, sure she is looking down from above and smiling at all her friends from afar.

    @Laurel Good luck with the therapy dog test, it was so rewarding for Erin and myself. Tonight is the last night in the old bed, bittersweet but I'm moving on. Will certainly visit your link. Take care!!

  8. After reading this it brought a gentle moment to my heart about our mongrel bitch Lilly. We've had big thunderstorms this week. Nights she normally sleeps on her bed in the laindry, but thunder scares her. So she ends up sleeping on my feet under the computer table or beside me in bed but on the carpet.
    I have to be her protector.
    She repays me with company everyday at my workshop.

  9. What beautiful photos! I love the one where she is sleeping. It brought a smile to my face. I am currently house sitting for my friends and they have 3 big dogs (2 are still puppies) 2 cats and a tortoise! You can just imagine the mad house :)

    Enjoy your new bed!

  10. David it is so heart warming for me to be back with you and Erin. It is true that it is hard to move on and let go of the comfort of the things that you shared with Erin. It is baby steps..and you need to take them when it is right for you..only then will the release be bittersweet as opposed to heart wrenching. I know Erin is with you...and would probably love the new bed, to hop into and snuggle with you. Now that she is in spirit she no longer has the encumbrances of her physical body. Her Heart, Your Heart...forever joined. Her tail wagging as the new bed arrives, waiting for that opportunity of pillow and cover to be called....Always...

  11. I love both your photos of Erin - so sweet! Each story about your lives together brings a smile to my face. I'm so glad you're sharing although I know it must be so hard. She was such a special girl.

  12. Saying it’s ‘difficult’ to get rid of the bed would be an understatement, right David?
    It must be painful to give up a bed that holds so many precious memories. And yet, I’d have to agree with your mom: a new bed will do wonders for you physically. Letting go is hard though.
    ~ Love and blessings.

  13. @Nelieta Thanks for the compliments and swinging by!! The new bed is nice :)

    @Raven Well said as always!! I'm sure she is looking forward to joining me in spirit wherever I lay my head down. Your words forever inspire me!!

    @Mari I love pics of sleeping dogs, they appear far away in a land of heavenly bliss. Thanks for visiting!! :)

    @Debra The new bed will take some getting used to but I'm moving forward in life. Baby steps!! Thanks for stopping by!!

  14. David - Your posts always touch me with your great love for Erin and the amazing bond you shared. I'm sure you'll carry her in your heart always - and thanks for sharing her with us.

  15. @Corinne Thanks for visiting and your kind words!! Erin will be in my heart til the last beat of my heart...

  16. I struggled to get past the first photograph, you said it correctly the bed isn't worth anything but it's priceless in its memories. I don't think I'd find it easy to change it but then I don't think I'd find it easy to lay in it without breaking down. It does get better with time though, doesn't it.

  17. @SJ Time has certainly dulled the pain but it will never completely go away. My life revolved around Erin so the loss is incredibly hard but onward I trudge. Thanks for stopping by!!


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