Saturday, July 23, 2011

What Dreams May Come


In the still of the night she arrives leaving paw prints upon my heart and subconscious mind; while I sleep memories and wonderful scenes from our life together are implanted deep in the recesses. There's little doubt that Erin visits quite often to connect with me when the mind is free of the emotional baggage that too often weights down a person. With my mind free of clutter she's able to connect as needed to leave reminders that I'm not forgotten and that our love and special friendship will span any distance and realm. It's been rare that I'm able to recall what occurred in those hours of sleep but when it happens the most joyous wave washes over me and that scene is recalled over and over like a dvd on repeat. These dreams bridge the divide and for a short period reunite us in a way that no earthly device or method can achieve.

Several days ago I awoke with a huge smile as a familiar scene in our life came was acted out once again. Only a snippet was remembered but that's all it took as we were together again and every detail was so vividly clear, not sure why this specific scene was remembered but that's okay as any recalled memory is most welcome. Outside my parents front door as so many times before, the door bell was rung and the wait began in earnest. Erin was anxiously in the sit position waiting for the door to magically open to reveal Mom who always spoiled her "Granddog" with love and treats galore; sensing me glancing downward she lovingly gazes up to make eye contact while her familiar beaming smile and rapid tail wag are on full display. Her attention alternates between me and the door that is impeding her access to a world of pleasure, she scoots closer to the door as if that will help it suddenly spring open. "Where's Momma?" is used to stimulate her to a fever pitch then we hear the deadbolt slide, security chain rattle, and the inner door opens. Erin is so ready to exploit the smallest crack in the storm door and she's inside in a blink of the eye when Mom cracks open the door to greet us; Mom makes a fuss over Erin while we share smiles then reality hits me as I awake.

My fave dream sequence simply involved me holding Erin close and kissing her on the side of her mouth as I so often did. Displaying her relaxed smile and drooping tongue I plant a series of tiny rapid kisses on her as my grandmother did to me; using a arm to cradle her head the playful smooches are doled out then repeated over and over. Kiss kiss kiss kiss and then observe the broad smile, kiss kiss kiss and repeat as needed. She doesn't protest or attempt to get away but instead remains steadfast where I'm free to lavish as much attention as desired until real life interrupts this beautiful scene. It was an amazing feeling to be near her again, to touch her, and to connect in that magical way that made our relationship so special; happiness. giddiness and a few tears overcame me as I realized the vivid dream's are the closest thing to an actual reunion at this time.

Erin's sudden death left me searching for concrete answers as to why and how the unthinkable could happen and a clue came in the form of a dream. Beset with grief and unable to sleep for several days when exhaustion finally overtook me I was presented with a vision involving a sheet of paper with three letters scribbled upon it. The paper flashed in front of my eyes as it was handed from one person to another and though it made only one pass that was enough for me to view and remember what was written. There was little doubt those letters formed an abbreviation of a medical condition that led to my angel's demise so immediately upon awakening numerous veterinarian web sites were researched via the internet to locate that key piece of the puzzle and before long I discovered exactly what I was destined to find.

The most surreal part of the story involved a medical report from the emergency veterinarian clinic where Erin took her last breath and we spent our last moments together. When that report arrived at the house and was opened for examination the abbreviation listed for primary cause of death matched the three letters scribbled upon the paper in my dream; I had the strongest feeling that the abbreviation would be included in the vet report somewhere but it was pretty shocking to see it listed at the top of the first page in black and white. The three letters are permanently etched into my memory as they represent the end of her life as well as a beautiful relationship. I'll never fully understand the dream process but they're most certainly welcome as long as I'm reunited with Erin and while death could take her physically there is nothing that will prevent us from connecting on a higher level.

14 comments:

  1. First let me say David that your Dream has been validated. You had a precognitive event through the dream. The 3 letters. You saw it before it happened. I know this because I get them all the time.

    Secondly...there are times when our loved ones, who have passed come and visit in our dreams..and you are right..they can visit when the influences of your Physical World are no longer taking your attention.

    They come to comfort..especially when you are going through things..and I suspect right now you are. It makes sense that she would come to you..and yes, she pierces the veil and spends time by your side...and you wake up and remember. These dreams are usually very vivid..almost like a video playing out..and you can feel every aspect of what is taking place.

    For me, these type of dreams are a huge gift from the Spriit. I have had them many times and I know how much comfort they give me.

    When you have a connection like you and Erin did ....it does not sever..it just changes. How wonderful that you have the opportunity to be side by side again..and wake up and remember.

    She continues to walk with you and to watch over you....and most of all..she comes to you in your dreams...not everyone has that happen. Keep smiling..she left you a wonderful gift...until you dream again. Always...

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  2. So touched by this, David, and so sorry for your loss of this incredible friend and companion. She will always be a part of you and I pray you find comfort in your memories of time spent together.

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  3. I had to go away and come back, I got choked up the first time I read it. Its very moving to read your words but I can also sense your loss very strongly. I had an experience of waking up to peppa, seeing and stroking her in my room, I remember rolling over and going back to sleep. The thing is she wasn't at home with me she was in the vets and had passed away moments before I saw her. It was a final goodbye.

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  4. @Ravenmyth Thanks for commenting as you can provide such valuable insight on this topic. I try to keep her close via writing and other avenues so hopefully she'll always keep a close watch over me and be there when it's my time to take the journey. These visits at night are so special to me and so uplifting :)

    @Martha Thanks for visiting and words of support!! I take great pride and comfort in having had such a great friend for many years :)

    @Sarah-Jane I appreciate you visiting!! Yes the loss is great but so was the love and friendship; they go hand in hand and that's the price we must pay!!

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  5. what an amazing story David. I was in tears. The love you and Erin share is SO special. Your connection manifests in your dream about her sickness as well as the dreams where you are with her and feel comforted and loved.

    I can't help but think that another Springer is out there waiting for you. It will not be Erin, but another gift, perhaps from Erin to you to surround yourself with that undying love that you lived with Erin: the love won't be the same because it would be your special relationship with her, to nourish with the love you found and developed with Erin and with your desire to continue to love, as a tribute to her and as a tribute to your undying love for Erin.

    peace to you David.

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  6. a wonderful connection beyond death, i can't hold my tears. it is the love between two souls that takes the bonding to a higher level. it is a ritual and is spiritual. few can cross the boundaries of this real earth to attain that degree. Erin and you have done that. it is all in your experience and realization.

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  7. You know it is said that when you sleep your soul travels other parallel worlds and realms. And I am sure that is what happened to you, you met Erin in another realm. You two have a special connect and I am sure this was real too. Dreams are real. She is there with you all the time in spirit, my friend.

    http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.com/2011/01/us.html

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  8. David I think it is really wonderful that you are having vivid dreams of your beloved Erin! I am sure on a deep subconscious level she is connecting with you! The dream that you have had is incredible and to connect that to the medical report...simply amazing! Take care, David and have a wonderful week!

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  9. David, Erin loves you and knows when you need her the most. She will come to you at those times in your life when you need unconditional love, so smile and never think that you are alone, with her gone. She is closer to you now than ever. Next time you see her, give her a kiss from me and Sparky too. God bless

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  10. Thanks to everyone for visiting my little slice of the web, your comments are much welcomed :)

    @Libellule-Martha You're right as there is probably another springer for me but it will have to wait

    @Fantacy Not even death can keep Erin and I apart, I'm so thankful that she visits me during sleep from time to time

    @Rimly You make perfect sense as it's very possible to travel across realms and there I could meet my old friend again. No doubt she is with me wherever I am

    @Nelieta I'm so glad that we are able to bridge the distance and continue our special friendship. Hope it continues for many years to come!!

    @Sulekkha Erin indeed senses when I'm at my lowest and comes to rescue me. Kisses to her on yours and Sparky's behalf :)

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  11. First off, I agree with Rimly's comment. And there are some things in life we don't always understand,but I don't think we need to. I just think we need to believe.

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  12. Ah, David. That was so beautiful. And wow, regarding the precognitive dream. There is no doubt in my mind that you and Erin still meet on that other level, and that she also visits you here. What a lovely gift of love and comfort she gives you with these visits.

    Twice this week, I have been visited by my dear departed cat Sasha, who passed away last fall. I was lying in bed thinking about her when I felt a warmth on my right arm, which was lying on a memory foam pillow. Then I felt the memory foam purring(!) and I felt cat kneading there, as well. I adored Sasha from the first moment I saw her as a kitten at the animal shelter. She was probably six weeks old, just a little thing, and she was so outraged at being in a cage that she was doing her best to rip those steel bars to pieces. Her tail wasn't much longer than my pinky, and I was absolutely charmed by the assurance of this tiny girl that no cage could possibly hold her. We had her for almost 18 years, and the hole she left in our lives was enormous. So to have her come back and say hello, not once but twice has been a lovely treat.

    Talk to Erin any time and know that she hears and understands. Tell her anything and everything you want to share. She is in a much better position to understand where she is now.

    I have told Sasha many times that she will always be welcome here as long as she cares to hang around. I'm glad she heard me and let me know she's still there.

    I wanted to share this with you because I knew you'd understand.

    Love and Blessings,
    Orea
    http://orea-highervoice.blogspot.com/

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  13. You did have the most amazing connection with Erin and no wonder she is the subject of your dreams. She continues to live in you in a very real way - by the love she had for you.

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  14. Thanks to all for stopping and commenting!! I certainly appreciate the continued support and friendship :)

    @Mari Yes there are many mysteries and it's probably good that we don't know all the answers as the truth might scare or disappoint us. It all comes down to faith!!!

    @Orea It's very comforting to have Erin visit me when she sees fit, her presence gives me a boost when needed. That's awesome how Sasha visits you on a regular basic, you possess the capability to connect on a deeper level so I'm not surprised at all. I often speak to Erin as if she's beside me or via mental connections. Somehow somewhere I believe she hears me and feels the undying love!!

    @Corinne Erin will always live on inside me as you stated and hopefully she will continue to visit my dreams. Our love and friendship can't be extinguished by mere death.

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