Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Death Of An Angel


Today marks the one year anniversary of Erin's passing and to say I miss my dear friend is an understatement. She was never just a dog to me but the reason the sun rose and set thus her absence in my life has been extremely difficult. Our special bond was established early in the relationship and continued to grow throughtout the years in a way that made our connection very unique from most human-dog relationships. As a novice dog owner I had alot to learn about raising a puppy and most certainly I made mistakes along the way but her loyalty and patience never wavered even when I started to doubt myself. Upon entering my life she captured my heart, mind, and soul and gave me a reason to live when often I believed there was none; Erin was my beacon in the storm and when I called her "Daddy's Angel" she would give me a coy look that said "Uh oh, Are my wings showing?" I thought of her as my angel in fur as she possessed the traits necessary for inclusion into that exclusive group and over the years her actions proved my suspicions were correct!!

Erin opened my eyes to the world while teaching me life lessons that I never would have learned without her guidance but learn and grow as a person I did. Her positive influence upon me increased my capacity to love while teaching me the value of friendship and not ever wanting to disappoint her I thrived to be the friend she truly deserved. It was my sincere intention to give Erin the most amazing life a dog can have and in that regard I feel contentment as her journey was filled with many years of love, friendship, and adventure. At my side she led a most wonderful life that would make any dog envious; she trekked across a dozen countries, served the community as a therapy dog, attended church, and performed onstage in a local production. Beaches, parks, forests, lakes and so many other locations were explored with the sole purpose of injecting happiness into her life; nothing brought me more joy than seeing her beaming smile and rapid tail wag. My life revolved around making her happy hence if Erin was happy then I was happy!!

While Erin's journey was filled with adventure and excitement it's what was inside that really separated her from the pack; she had the ability to touch everyone that crossed her path and rare was the heart that was not affected. People fell in love with her soulful gentle nature, felt complete ease in her company while her friendly personality made it easy for folks to become instant friends. It's these attributes that led Erin to be so popular wherever we ventured and the affection felt for her was clearly demonstrated by the show of grief and love at the time of her death. I feel so blessed to have received her love and friendship for nearly 12 years while sharing so many smiles and I'll cherish those memories for the remainder of my days. My love was certainly not a one-way street as Erin's passion matched mine in intensity and her display of affection always filled me with warmth; she was often referred to as a "Daddy's Girl" due to her desire to be near me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm prouder of my relationship with Erin and the wonderful life I laid at her paws than anything else I've achieved; our years together are the highlight of my existence. Everyday with her was a true blessing and words can't describe the sorrow and pain I've suffered upon the loss of my beloved friend. If I was to amputate a limb there would be less ache ravaging my body as it certainly feels that my heart has been fractured beyond repair. Given the opportunity I would have gladly sacrificed my life to have one more day with Erin; just one more day of stalking squirrels, another day of frolicking at the dog park and just another day of being best friends. In a state of shock and oblivious to the world around me I told Erin how much she meant to me, how everybody loved her and how we would miss her dearly. It was very important for me to let her know that she was the best friend I could ever ask for and how incredibly proud she made me. During that timeframe I witnessed the most incredible act of devotion as Erin suddenly pushed herself up in respond to my words but I eased her back down and continued to provide comfort. Thinking of that scene brings tears to my eyes as she was minutes from death and in obvious distress yet she loved me so much she still tried to please me.... That defines love and devotion!!


Our final photo. Erin would pass away a few hours later.

Her passing came suddenly after the onset of an illness and was a complete surprise to all including the veternarians who oversaw her treatment. Within 36 hours of taking ill she was pronounced dead and despite an unbreakable spirit her body could not continue the journey any further. I'm so thankful I was able to hold her paw while lovingly looking into her eyes so she could make the journey with a friend; there was no way that my beloved Angel was exiting this world without me comforting her as she did for me on so many occasions. The medical staff left me alone as tears ran down my cheeks onto her lifeless body, knowing our time together was limited I stroked her coat and smothered her with kisses for the final time. A pair of scissors was located then I proceeded to snip off a handful of her beautiful flowing coat and before long a vet tech returned to ask if she could remove the collar; I shook my head and muttered no. It was my responsibility and honor as Erin's Daddy to remove it myself so the leather collar was unbuckled then I reluctantly walked into the waiting room where family members were sobbing. The outpouring of love for Erin in the days after her passing was remarkable while the support of friends and family kept me from being totally consumed with grief and to them I'll be eternally grateful.

One year later it's still hard to believe that she's gone and while I miss my Angel beyond words I'm comforted by the fact that she led an incredible life and was loved by so many people. Thanks to everyone for keeping the memory of Erin alive!!

RIP Erin!! October 20 1998 - August 16 2010

"I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness. If it takes my dog being there in Heaven, I believe he'll be there" ~ Rev. Billy Graham

33 comments:

  1. It is so hard to say goodbye in death to a dog. Its not like they are an animal, they are your child and your best mate..you love them and without a word, they return that love. There is much they can teach people about unconditional love.
    We walk away, they wait for our return. There is no grumbling when we do, they welcome us with glee..
    Yes, to have and share the love of an animal is a special friendship.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can still feel your pain David as you write this but also pride in having such a special friend in Erin. I am sure she is watching over you now from up there. I have lost a couple of dogs in my time and I know how it can you apart. 12 years is not a long time but she did have a fulfilling life and no one could have given her a better life to her than you have David. I am sure she is in peace and waiting for the day when she can come running towards you to your arms.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Crystal Mary It's often harder to say goodbye to a beloved animal than humans and this is certainly the case with Erin. Pets have very much to teach us about love and friendship!!

    @Rimly There is much happiness but also pain on this day. We were very blessed to have each other for 12 years and I'll never take that for granted. Wherever Erin is on this special day I'm sure she is watching over me as always.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have 4 dogs, and this made me cry. Thinking of you at this time,

    Sam x
    sconchtextiles,blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. David - I don't know what to say. I am so happy that you found someone like Erin to share part of your life with and Erin's days in this life were cherished because of your presence in it too. Nothing I say can take the pain you feel away but I hope I can share the joy of the company you gave each other.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Samantha Hope your four angels have a long healthly life :) Thanks for visiting me on this special day!!

    @Kriti Your words always provide comfort and they're alway welcomed. Erin and I were a match made in heaven that's for sure and I'm very thankful for many great years!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can relate a bit, it feels awful
    When my pet died I cried for weeks :(

    ReplyDelete
  8. David, I saw the post earlier in the day and I didn´t want to read it because I knew I would cry. Postponing it didn´t help and as I am sitting here typing the tears are rolling down my cheek. Erin had a beautiful, fun-filled life with you. She couldn´t have asked for better. You have so many wonderful stories and memories to treasure. Such a special friendship. Thank you for sharing these memories with us.

    RIP Erin!

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Jyoti Thanks for visiting and sorry about your loss!!

    @Nelieta Sorry that it made you cry, I shed many tears as the words flowed and memories were recalled. I'm so glad Erin had a great life and that I was able to be there for every step of the journey. 12 years of beautiful memories are going to told to the world. Thanks so much for stopping by and the wonderful comment :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. The anniversary of a pet's death is always a hard day, as are what I call "the firsts" - the first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or other special day without your pet. Eighteen years later I still remember every moment of the night I lost my first dog. I think it's beautiful how you are honoring Erin and your wonderful life together. May it bring comfort and healing not only to you, but to all reading it.
    Laurel, celebrating the love of dogs at http://laurelhuntbooks.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your ability to share the details of that night shows how far you have come in these twelve months. You've been to hell and back since then. I am very proud of you, and Erin is too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow- I am sitting here sobbing. Six years ago I had to put my sweet Bandit down and it still haunts me. I knew it was right, he had been sick for a year, and the look he gave me with his tail between his legs before the last vet's trip spoke volumes. He was my best friend, my protector and we had something that nothing else has or will ever match. I now have three dogs and a cat, and they are my second set of children (I have grown children and grandchildren), but the memories and the love will love on forever. Peace to you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Having held a beloved family pet in my arms while the doctor gently put him to rest, I know the pain and the loss you feel. And Erin was so much a part of every aspect of your life, so I can't begin to imagine how you feel, David. But do know that Erin has touched many hearts around the world through your lovely memories of her.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Laurel You are so correct about the firsts being very difficult days but carry on we must thus I'm moving forward in life but she will always be a part of me. Writing abour Erin has been healing and I'm glad her life and our relationship continues to move folks around the globe. Thanks for the great comment!! Blessings :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Walter Thanks for the encouraging words my friend!! No doubt I've come a long way in the past year and I'm proud of that fact but there will surely be hard days ahead. Everything I do is in memory of Erin. Take care!!

    @Kimly So sorry to hear about Bandit :( It's a difficult thing to watch a beloved pet exit our life's but that's the price of love. As with you and Bandit, I will always have Erin near my heart!! Blessings!!

    @Corinne Thanks for stopping by!! It's a difficult decision to end an animals life but something that must be done for them and ourselves. I couldn't allow Erin to suffer another minute to satisfy my selfish needs and despite my sorrow I know it was the right decision. It's very comforting to know people love hearing the tales of Erin's life. Thanks and blessings to you!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your love for Erin shines powerfully through your words, David. It's wonderful that you are able to remember all the fun-filled moments you had with her...and it sounds like there were so many!

    Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post with us.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Becky It'd be very hard to tone down my love and feelings for Erin even though she's been gone for a year now. I'm thankful I kept a journal to record stories otherwise many details wpuld have been lost forever. Thanks for swinging by and commenting!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'll be honest with you this is a very hard blog for me to read. The pain that we feel at the loss of a pet is avery raw pain. It is not when that really ever goes away , you don't think about it everyday but it is there ready to come back. Your love of your friend is very evident and
    a beautiful emotion to see and feel.


    http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/08/photographing-walk-on-beach-in-florida.html

    ReplyDelete
  19. I just read your tribute and the tears are still flowing . . .

    May you be reunited one day with your beloved Erin in God's perfect Heaven.

    God bless you, David!

    ReplyDelete
  20. This post honestly touched me deeply David. I've been visiting your blog for sometime and have joined you and Erin on your adventures through Germany and inside children's libraries and on stage. I have enjoyed reading the tenderness and attentive care, love and compassion you provided her and the love and presence she blessed so many with. Erin will last forever, because the beautiful memories you two shared will always be kept alive by the talented words you craftily write them with, touching hearts everywhere with the memories and life you both shared with one another.

    ::hugs::

    ReplyDelete
  21. David, I can see why you love Erin because when I look at photos of her I can see her essence. Every word you write about her extends her memory and I know you will see her again. I hope each day that passes helps to heal your heart. Blessings to you.



    http://lyricfire.typepad.com/lyric-fire/2011/08/lyric-fire-its-all-in-the-comments-or-not-.html

    ReplyDelete
  22. @Jim You're correct that one never really gets over the death of a beloved pet and I've certainly found that out as I'm fine for weeks then the bottom falls out. Appreciate your insightful words!!

    @Martha Sorry about the tears but this is that type of post :) It's my greatest wish to be reunited with Erin in another place and time.

    @Jessica Thanks for the great comment and continuing to follow Erin's life. I tried to do the best I could to make Erin comfortable in all situations and that's why I believe she excelled at everything she attempted. Hopefully her life story and our bond will continue to inspire folks. Blessings!! :)

    @Tameka Thanks for stopping by!! I love writing about her and it's so healing to speak of her to folks around the world. I'm looking forward to my reunion with Erin!! :) Take care!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. David, I felt my heart shatter while reading your post and it's still aching.God bless n RIP Erin, be strong and look up to wave at her, she is watching her Daddy...

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am so sorry for your loss...thank you for sharing the adventures you took with Erin.

    ReplyDelete
  25. @Sulekkha I've been as strong as I possibly can and I often speak to Erin so she is neat to my heart. Thanks for stopping by :)

    @Amy Thansks for your kind words and it's my pleasure to share Erin's life and her impact upon the world with everyone!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love this picture of you and sweet thing. Your angel in fur lived a full, rich life David.
    And how blessed she was to have a master so loving. All dogs do go to heaven from whence they came.
    She only stopped by earth for a brief moment to show you how to live more fully.
    And thank you, thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us.
    ~ Bless you David.

    ReplyDelete
  27. David this is such a powerful and beautiful post. In the beginning when you talked of Erin coming into your life I had a sense she taught you how to Live and Love. Yes, you were a team...however, I felt there was something missing in your life...and this little angel came along and taught you what you needed to learn..how to trust and live your life to the fullest...she was the only one who could teach you that. What a rare gift she gave..and in return she reaped the rewards of the gift you gave to her.

    You were inseperable to the end...and yes, you were there to lead her to the next part of her journey...together, side by side. You were right..she tried to please you and be there for you..even when she knew she was moving on without you...for awhile you will be apart..but in Spirit, it is a blink of an eye and you will see her again. She will always watch over you..the bond of love never leaves...I believe, the most powerful act we perform as a human being is to assist the ones we love to leave this world...knowing they were loved. You and Erin did that. This is a powerful tribute to Erin and the legacy of her Love for you! She continues to touch Souls...I know she has touched mine. Beautiful Angel...you are Loved...Always...

    ReplyDelete
  28. @Debra Thanks for the sweet words!! Erin indeed led a full life and I tried to be the best friend to her I could. It's my pleasure to share these stories with everyone, thanks so much for reading :)

    @LeeAnn Thanks for a wondeful comment :) I certainly feel we were destined to enter each others life's. We both gave all we could to the relationship until the very end and it's hard to ask for anything more. Yeah I often feel she was heaven sent and God wanted herback at his side or she had another lost soul to rescue. There's no doubt our bond wil never be broken, I sense her near me and I speak out to her to comfort myself and t0 let her know I've survived another day without her. Thanks so much for visiting and being my friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. My heart goes out to you. It was obviously a terrible event in your life and rightfully so. Our animal companions give us so much while asking so little in return. Erin was truly a magnificent, one of a kind, companion. I only hope that all our support brings you some measure of comfort.

    ReplyDelete
  30. david im sorry for ur loss.God bless n RIP Erin.erin symbol of love and friendship.bless you David.tk cr.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I realize this post has been up for some time, I am sorry I didn't get too it sooner. Love to you and prayers. I cried for you both but rejoiced in the love you shared.I do not think there could have been a more loved dog or human. What a wonderful blessing for you both.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Of course you know I was laid up all summer so after having just read this please know --you and Erin were the FINEST boy and dog I knew. She will be forever in my heart. ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  33. @Jan Thanks for the comforting words!! We were both blessed by the relationship :)

    @Alice Thanks my friend for visiting and I completely understand why you didn't come by sooner!! Erin loved you no doubt and I have fond memories of you two together. You were a good friend to her over the years and I'll never forget that. Blessings :)

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.