Death Of An Angel

Today marks the one year anniversary of Erin's passing and to say I miss my dear friend is an understatement. She was never just a dog to me but the reason the sun rose and set thus her absence in my life has been extremely difficult. Our special bond was established early in the relationship and continued to grow throughtout the years in a way that made our connection very unique from most human-dog relationships. As a novice dog owner I had alot to learn about raising a puppy and most certainly I made mistakes along the way but her loyalty and patience never wavered even when I started to doubt myself. Upon entering my life she captured my heart, mind, and soul and gave me a reason to live when often I believed there was none; Erin was my beacon in the storm and when I called her "Daddy's Angel" she would give me a coy look that said "Uh oh, Are my wings showing?" I thought of her as my angel in fur as she possessed the traits necessary for inclusion into that exclusive group and over the years her actions proved my suspicions were correct!!

Erin opened my eyes to the world while teaching me life lessons that I never would have learned without her guidance but learn and grow as a person I did. Her positive influence upon me increased my capacity to love while teaching me the value of friendship and not ever wanting to disappoint her I thrived to be the friend she truly deserved. It was my sincere intention to give Erin the most amazing life a dog can have and in that regard I feel contentment as her journey was filled with many years of love, friendship, and adventure. At my side she led a most wonderful life that would make any dog envious; she trekked across a dozen countries, served the community as a therapy dog, attended church, and performed onstage in a local production. Beaches, parks, forests, lakes and so many other locations were explored with the sole purpose of injecting happiness into her life; nothing brought me more joy than seeing her beaming smile and rapid tail wag. My life revolved around making her happy hence if Erin was happy then I was happy!!

While Erin's journey was filled with adventure and excitement it's what was inside that really separated her from the pack; she had the ability to touch everyone that crossed her path and rare was the heart that was not affected. People fell in love with her soulful gentle nature, felt complete ease in her company while her friendly personality made it easy for folks to become instant friends. It's these attributes that led Erin to be so popular wherever we ventured and the affection felt for her was clearly demonstrated by the show of grief and love at the time of her death. I feel so blessed to have received her love and friendship for nearly 12 years while sharing so many smiles and I'll cherish those memories for the remainder of my days. My love was certainly not a one-way street as Erin's passion matched mine in intensity and her display of affection always filled me with warmth; she was often referred to as a "Daddy's Girl" due to her desire to be near me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm prouder of my relationship with Erin and the wonderful life I laid at her paws than anything else I've achieved; our years together are the highlight of my existence. Everyday with her was a true blessing and words can't describe the sorrow and pain I've suffered upon the loss of my beloved friend. If I was to amputate a limb there would be less ache ravaging my body as it certainly feels that my heart has been fractured beyond repair. Given the opportunity I would have gladly sacrificed my life to have one more day with Erin; just one more day of stalking squirrels, another day of frolicking at the dog park and just another day of being best friends. In a state of shock and oblivious to the world around me I told Erin how much she meant to me, how everybody loved her and how we would miss her dearly. It was very important for me to let her know that she was the best friend I could ever ask for and how incredibly proud she made me. During that timeframe I witnessed the most incredible act of devotion as Erin suddenly pushed herself up in respond to my words but I eased her back down and continued to provide comfort. Thinking of that scene brings tears to my eyes as she was minutes from death and in obvious distress yet she loved me so much she still tried to please me.... That defines love and devotion!!

Our final photo. Erin would pass away a few hours later.

Her passing came suddenly after the onset of an illness and was a complete surprise to all including the veternarians who oversaw her treatment. Within 36 hours of taking ill she was pronounced dead and despite an unbreakable spirit her body could not continue the journey any further. I'm so thankful I was able to hold her paw while lovingly looking into her eyes so she could make the journey with a friend; there was no way that my beloved Angel was exiting this world without me comforting her as she did for me on so many occasions. The medical staff left me alone as tears ran down my cheeks onto her lifeless body, knowing our time together was limited I stroked her coat and smothered her with kisses for the final time. A pair of scissors was located then I proceeded to snip off a handful of her beautiful flowing coat and before long a vet tech returned to ask if she could remove the collar; I shook my head and muttered no. It was my responsibility and honor as Erin's Daddy to remove it myself so the leather collar was unbuckled then I reluctantly walked into the waiting room where family members were sobbing. The outpouring of love for Erin in the days after her passing was remarkable while the support of friends and family kept me from being totally consumed with grief and to them I'll be eternally grateful.

One year later it's still hard to believe that she's gone and while I miss my Angel beyond words I'm comforted by the fact that she led an incredible life and was loved by so many people. Thanks to everyone for keeping the memory of Erin alive!!

RIP Erin!! October 20 1998 - August 16 2010

"I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness. If it takes my dog being there in Heaven, I believe he'll be there" ~ Rev. Billy Graham

And The Tony Award Goes To....

This photo was taken during a production of The Miracle Worker in which Erin played Belle the Keller family dog and in this scene a young Helen Keller is attempting to teach sign language to Belle.

"Would you be interested in allowing your dog onstage in a play?" That was the question presented to me by a member of the drama department before morning service at a major Savannah Church and one which didn't involve much arm-twisting on their part. The staff's search for an "obedient hunting dog” had been unsuccessful until they heard of  Erin through the grapevine thus I was approached with details about the dog's scenes and the drama department director was to be called if there was further interest on my part. This was an opportunity that couldn't be passed over so a call was placed the following morning to Wayne and Erin's therapy dog service, obedience training, friendly demeanor, etc was discussed at length and mutually we decided she would be perfect for the role of Belle.

Over the next several weeks Erin took part in rehearsals with her fellow co-stars and it's an understatement to say she had a great time. It took little time for Wayne to express complete confidence in my stage performer thus her scenes were rehearsed the bare minimum but that was okay as that decision allowed more time to bond with fellow co-stars. It was called rehearsal but in reality it was a chance for Erin to receive as much attention as possible and everyone treated their four-legged star with the utmost respect and affection. The cast and crew loved having her around and heaped praise upon her; children and adults alike doted on her and were constantly calling her name so she could wander over for a round of socialization. She often wandered around the auditorium exploring every inch that was made available to her while in pursuit was a gaggle of kids longing for a hug or a kiss on the cheek but without fail she always returned to lay near my feet. Another perk of rehearsals was the delicious catered food and we especially enjoyed the lasagna from Olive Garden; Erin never took her eyes off the fork as she knew I'd give her a portion and I most certainly did.

Erin was taken backstage as the auditorium overflowed with hundreds of paying customers while beaming lights, sound checks, racks of costumes and props told me it was almost show time. Reluctantly she was handed over to a teenage actor who would be her backstage guardian then I headed to a table near the stage where family members and loyal friends were sitting in anticipation of this once in a lifetime event. I was a nervous wreck waiting for the play to began and all I could think about was Erin backstage with strangers wondering why I deserted her. On cue she was led onto the stage by two youngsters holding the leash and they hit their mark where the scene unfolded around them; she did very well but I could tell she was searching for me in the crowd so that really stressed me out as I knew she missed me. The crowd buzzed upon seeing a dog onstage and murmurs could be heard at nearby tables about the doggie actor; I was beyond proud of my girl. At intermission I promptly went backstage to comfort her and the cast said she was very anxious due to my absence so I decided to remain backstage with her for the rest of the evening and future performances.

It was calming for both of us to be together backstage and when the time came for her scenes I reassured her "It's okay. Go on. Daddy will be right here" then she walked out into the blinding light.  From the shadows I watched with a huge smile as Erin did remarkably well and when she was brought backstage I smothered her with affection and praise while her tail wagged a million miles a hour. Erin’s scenes went very well including a pivotal scene where a young Helen Keller tries to teach Belle (Erin) sign language, it was so awesome to see just the two of them onstage with the spotlight shining upon them. Helen was sitting down with Belle’s paw in her hand instructing her in the art of signing while Belle looked lovingly into Helen's eyes, it was so touching and endearing to everyone in attendance. A standing ovation took place after each performance with Erin joining her human co-stars in soaking up the love of the audience; it was a special time for her indeed. After the audience retook their seats the cast lined up outside the door for a meet and greet with the spectators who streamed by to pay their respects to whomever they desired. So many people stopped to pay Erin a compliment, pet her on the head, and many praised me for raising a wonderful dog; it was an amazing experience for us in every aspect.

It was sad when the production ended as we made so many friends and shared many laughs along the way. Erin had an incredible time, touched many hearts and I’ve never been prouder of her than at that moment; as always she never disappointed me. Everything she attempted was achieved with the highest results and her stint as a stage performer was no different; despite my worrying as a concerned father she was amazing every night and gave me many more great memories. After Erin’s passing I received a letter of condolence from Wayne on behalf of the drama department and a phone call during which he said everyone was saddened to hear of her sudden death; it meant alot to know she lived on in their hearts but that demonstrates how special my angel was.

And the Tony award goes to Erin Smith....

Strike A Pose

This picture was taken in June 2010 while on an early morning stroll through Chippewa Square in Savannah Ga. There were very few tourists around the monument so the opportunity presented itself for a impromptu shoot. Erin was hoisted up and instinctively she snuggled up to one of the four marble lions while General Oglethorpe's statue looked down with respect upon the regal canine. She sat there for several minutes while I snapped a few pics and this is one of my all-time favorite photos of her. Erin's face shows complete happiness and contentment with life. Beautiful girl in a beautiful locale!!

A Day Along The Rhine

As the sun was making its appearance on the horizon, Erin and I were already cruising along the autobahn towards the Rhine River valley for a day of exploration. The region is celebrated for some of the loveliest villages in Germany, breathtaking scenery, and fertile soil that produces world renowned wines. Winter days in Europe are often gloomy with frigid temperatures, heavy snowfall, and limited sunlight but on this day of fun and adventure the weather gods would show mercy and bless us with ideal conditions. Lying down in the back seat Erin springs to life as the car slows down on entry into a rest stop; we're the only brave souls up at this time of the day or maybe everyone else was smart enough to remain asleep but nevertheless we had this oasis to ourselves. There's no restrooms or vending machines hawking food just a spectacular view of the valley to admire and that's exactly what I did while my travel companion wandered off to do what dogs do. I beckoned Erin for a photo op with the valley as a backdrop but suddenly her progress is halted as she sinks in snow up to her belly thus I'm given the "Woe is me" look; as fate would have it I would later sink to my knees in a snowbank; misery loves company.

The narrow winding roads lining both sides of the river provided access to imposing castles atop steep cliffs, marvelous bridges and charming towns that magically appear out of nowhere but it's the vineyards that would hold the most appeal. Erin's head is permanently affixed out the rear window as we trudge along; her broad smile and happy disposition reveals she is impervious to the cold biting blast of air unlike myself who has the heater and seat warmer on. The quaint town of Bingen calls our name so we wander the streets as nomads until a cafe with outdoor seating is located; I get my daily allowance of caffeine while my shadow greets the local population with a wag of the tail then we're on the road again. At a leisurely pace we continue northwest with the Rhine River guiding the way; vineyards stretched as far as the eye could see and instinctively I knew this would be a special place for Erin.

The car is parked near a spot where a quick getaway can occur if needed and anxiously the area is scanned for an irate landowner with a gun meanwhile a liver/white dog is heading uphill without me.
"Erin Erin get over here!!" Due to my sense of urgency she returns with her head down, tail tucked under and a submissive demeanor but quickly she's reassured that everything is okay thus the toothy grin reappears. Together we cautiously strolled uphill and when it became apparent that neither one of us was going to get shot she was allowed to run like the wind. She scampers off then suddenly veers in another direction then another as instincts dictate; without warning she stops to sniff a random grape vine rising upward and there were many to select from. Rows upon rows of grape vines rose out of the thick layer of snow and extend up towards heaven: these dormant upshoots provided the perfect winter playground. Vehicles occasionally used vineyard access roads but no one gave us a second glance while dogs with their owners were spotted and likewise they continued on without concern.

Her name is repeatedly called thus she looks back but doesn't spot me as an impromptu game of hide and seek is underway. Remaining motionless several rows over I see Erin scanning the area for any sign of movement then moving downhill with a purpose towards the spot where she believes I'm hiding but I'm nowhere to be found. Unable to locate me an expression of worry is displayed upon her face so a familiar whistle goes out to comfort her while providing a clue as to where I'm at and promptly she heads in my direction where I'm seen crouching down. "You found daddy. You found me. Good girl" and she leans against my legs as I kiss her head while hugging her tightly then she's urged back uphill with me closely behind. After awhile Erin lets her guard down so another round of hide and seek begins with similar results and again I smother her with love for a valiant effort. The lack of cloud cover and relentless sun make the early January day feel more like springtime and as noontime approached we were both ready for a break and something to eat so northward along the Rhine we continued.

A butcher shop and bakery are found in the next town so before long we're munching on salami, ham, cheese and bread in the car; she stares me down from the backseat as I eat a sandwich and when the mood strikes I toss a slice of goodness in her direction. Erin is fanatical about meats and cheese as are most dogs and her portions are quickly devoured then she goes back to staring me down and licking her lips but the remainder is saved for later. We visit another vineyard further north and head uphill as before though this one was more challenging as it extended much further and had a steeper incline. I do my best to keep up with Erin as her enthusiasm and youth serve her well, she reaches the summit while I'm not far behind then it was time to relax for a spell. My jacket is removed from the backpack I'm lugging around and used as a makeshift blanket; she lays next to me on that snow covered hill and we look out upon the beauty of the world. The remainder of lunch is consumed with canine eagerness then we lazily stroll downhill before heading home. It was a simple day but so special as were many days spent together and it brought much happiness to her so I'll always cherish our time roaming the vineyards along the Rhine. RIP Erin!!

Erin and Nana....Kindred Spirits

My grandmother affectionately called Nana by all family members was the matriarch of the family; she was loved and held in high esteem by all who met her and the closest thing to a living saint as one could ever hope to meet. She adored Erin from the very beginning and considered her another granddaughter albeit this one had a continuous shedding coat and a keen interest in her cats. They enjoyed spending time with each other and Erin especially liked the fact that Nana was very generous with whatever food was in the pantry. Growing up during the great depression Nana believed all food whether human or animal grade was not to be wasted but given to some deserving creature thus my girl reaped the rewards of many edible treats. The majority of visits to Nana's house resulted in Erin receiving some type of goodie and "Go see Nana" always elicited an enthusiastic rapid tail wag and a sprint to the car for a short ride.

We routinely visited Nana's house where Erin considered herself the boss despite being a mere adolescent and numerous cats roaming the premises. By nature she was very curious and loved to investigate every nook and cranny that was available in the aging structure and during these visits an occasional encounter with a feline would take place. Erin would corner the cats who didn't appreciate quality canine company and tried in vain to avoid the intruder but she never got the hint until a hiss and swipe of the paw across the snout shocked her. She would glance at me with an expression that said "I just want to play with them" then promptly she went back to wagging her tail and staring them down as if that would entice them into an impromptu game of chase but they never gave in to the tomfoolery and believe me...Nana never allowed Erin to harass her babies for very long!! When not cornering cats she loved to roam outdoors where Nana's many acres, blooming garden and thriving squirrel population provided an outlet to release pent-up energy; exhausted she would later sleep between us on the sofa.

Unfortunately Nana broke a hip and her health rapidly deteriorated to the point where she was admitted to a senior care facility to receive the medical care she desperately needed. Despite Nana being in a nursing home Erin was granted access to visit her without limitations, it was a good situation for everyone involved. Several times a week we loaded into the car for the commute across town to visit Nana whom was always expecting us to visit and before long "the hunting dog " was recognizable to members of the medical staff, many patients, and their family members. We shared a passion for reading so often I brought along some reading material to read aloud or snuck in a bag of her favorite candy while my girl waited patiently on the floor for her turn at some attention. Nana would dangle her hand over the edge of the bed for some quality petting or encourage Erin to stand upon her hind legs for eye to eye contact and more intimate bonding. Nana often wanted to hold the leather leash or stroke her head and there was never any protest from Erin who craved physical contact as much as one of those stashed cookies. If I visited alone, there were inquiries into the status of the “grand dog” and the latest doggie adventures had to be told while often a biscuit was stuck into my pocket for safe delivery.

Nana's love and adoration continued for Erin despite her living situation and declining health; food was often stashed from her dining room tray in the overflowing top drawer of her night stand. A peanut butter cookie, hamburger patty, or other delicacy could be found wrapped inside a napkin and stored for that special day when we visited; Erin devoured the food in record time and never was there enough to satisfy her craving. It was a testament to their friendship that Nana still felt the urge to spoil Erin when she herself was in a less than desirable position in life but that says so much about her as a person and their relationship. She was often urged to stop hiding food items but the pleas fell on deaf ears as she insisted on spoiling Erin so items designated for dog consumption continued for several more years. Being a devout animal lover Nana was always proud of my relationship with Erin and the life we shared; she thought it was the most amazing thing that a dog could live and travel across Europe. Nothing happens by accident as it was during this period of frequenting the nursing home that I became aware of the healing power of animals thus we became involved with a therapy dog group soon after Nana's passing; it was my honor to get Erin certified in tribute to Nana and to become an active therapy dog team in the community for 7 years.

It was a devastating loss when Nana suddenly passed away as I lost my best friend and I'll always remember coming home from the hospital bawling uncontrollably unaware of the world around me.
Soon after I felt Erin's head nudging my hand repeatedly until I began to stroke her then she climbed onto the couch beside me to offer emotional support and while holding her tightly I buried my head in her flank to cry like a baby. It was a difficult period made easier by the presence of Erin whom I wonder if was aware of the death of her beloved friend and kindred spirit; they were both full of love, embraced life to its fullest, and never encountered a stranger. They both touched and impacted my life in ways that are immeasurable and I'll always cherish the memories forged during our years together. It's endearing as I recall them expressing their love for one another and something tells me Nana is still sneaking Erin yummy treats as they watch over me from above. RIP Nana and Erin!!